Sunday, 3 May 2009

Sickness is felt, but health not at all...

So, after writing my account of Swine flu, I'm kinda out of things to say.

I'm contemplating writing about myself yet again but I always feel so self absorbed when I do. Not a nice feeling or quality to possess.

Then again, what do I care? Every single bloody time I log into Facebook I see countless status updates complaining of ills and frets. I don't particularly want to know if you've had a dream that you were dead and now you're really sad about it. Or if your new found hobby is to complain about illness/diseases you really do not have.

If you are remotely normal, you would probably only mention you are contagious, so we know to keep away from you. However, since Swine flu is around...everyone is ill. Is the cough you've had for the last two months now deadly and about to kill your friends and family? No? Then shut up.

I can't say I haven't done it in the past...not that I can remember, but I don't do it every status update. If you are one of these people...look at the comments your "friends" leave you. If it's a "get well soon" kinda thing, lap it up, enjoy and move on. If it's a sarcastic comment or an attempt at sarcasm, STOP. You may love the attention but I can say that most of us really do not.

I really do use this space to rant waaaay too much..

Anyway, moving on...

I want to do something tomorrow, but I have no idea what. If you have any ideas...do share. Was supposed to be road tripping it with Marc but his car died. Only a lil' bit dead, but still...Sad times. I'm secretly hoping it's going to rain tomorrow because at least then I know no one else will be having fun on the road on their way to Brighton.

And before you all complain that I'm a miserable bitch...


...I've never denied it.

Peace out skorkleburtums. xoxo

Friday, 1 May 2009

Oinkachoo

Ok, so whilst it's still in the news (Birdflu seemed to just disappear)...let's discuss Swine Flu.

Today whilst at Wetherspoons with Louise, she sited a woman wearing a face mask. I'd like to think that was something to do with this epidemic upon us. I also think it's hilarious, and I pretty much wanted to go outside and sneeze on her. Followed up by a quick oink, and a Mexican hat dance.

It's because I'm cool.

So, whats the big deal with Sflu? I've personally never seen a pig cough, so someone in Mexico has been snogging piggies of course. I also personally blame these peoples.

The normal, regular flu kills about 500,000 people a year around the world. I seriously do not see Sflu surpassing this number, especially since the media and Governments around the world are trying their very best to scaremonger and supply pamphlets. What shocks me the most is that the advice given to prevent Swine flu from spreading is IDENTICAL to what you should do to prevent the usual flu from infecting the nation. It's not hard to use a tissue and to wash your hands...and remember to do so. Jeese peeps, get a grip!

It frustrates me that people are so worried about it all. I can kinda understand the panic about bird flu since birds do migrate and can easily spread the disease across the world. I'm also sorry that people have died from it, but for people in London to be wearing a mask...gah, it's just plain ridiculous. Masks, as fashionable as they most obviously have become, DO NOT not help that much. If you wanted to sneeze, would you really sneeze into a mask that you will be wanting to wear for the rest of your breathing life? No, especially if snot occurs...you'd take the mask off and sneeze freely. Also, you breathe air through the mask. Infected air that smells of bacon.

Stupid retards.

Oh and please remember this message kids, pigs can't fly, but when they do...I'll print off this blog and stuff it down my throat. Hopefully I'll cough it all up in your face, and speak fondly of my recent travels to Mexico. I'll lend you my sombrero too. It's made out of pigs lung.

Poor babe.

Peace out my little Pig-a-chus xoxo

Sunday, 26 April 2009

Twittering madness I tell you - Fbook off.

Hello.

I've been twittering away for a while now, and tend to update it quite often...more so than facebook. I'm still happy with facebook, but it has definitely lost its charm. I kinda miss the simplicity of it. I really really do not want to see stupid apps and ridiculous fan pages because as much as I am a fan of sleeping, hot showers and the rest of it...so is everyone else. There is no need to celebrate basic human needs, wants and loves, so shut up. Come on, "Become a fan of laughing"...NO.

That's a fail of epic proportions.

And if you are one of the four friends who became a fan of afore mentioned, then you should be ashamed. Perhaps start a new fan page "Hating Gemma Berry". I'd join that one. Hell, imma set it up! See how many fans I get who love to hate me...

...not many who'd care enough me thinks. Perhaps it would be more shattering to my ego if I set up a "Gemma Berry" fan page and not have any fans add me to their profile..

Losers.

Twitter on the other hand has no such nonsense. You update your status, follow some peeps, some peeps follow you. That's about it. Easy peasy, none of this "Dickfor Brains sent you shit on a stick, send some back!" rubbish. And so long as you're not tweeting your every move, it's fun.

But don't start joining. If too many people join they will probably think they need to change something which is fine as it is. Tweets will be called twats and twats will be called cocks. Topsy turvy this world will become and I will (to no avail) go and stand in a park pretending to be a great Oak.

Or a weeping Willow. Or a tit in the grass.

And so I have come to an end. This blog entry will now cease to be.

An exblog, if you will.

Peace out humankillings xoxo

Thursday, 23 April 2009

Procrastination for the nation

So, it's St Georges Day today.

I'm still surprised that it's not celebrated in the same way St Patricks or even Australia Day is...

Yes, Australia Day.

I'm not patriotic in the slightest, but I do find it unfair that it's not a public holiday...A day off is always good, and we deserve at least one more. Though perhaps should move it to another month, April/May seem to be rather greedy with bank hols.

Anyway, I'm bored of thinking about that. It's the same conversation every year in my house on this very day. Becomes tiresome.

Oh, my ipod has broken. Well, so it seems anyway. Bad bad times. Cannae afford a new one :-( Well, I could buy a new one with my student loan but that's supposed to be helping to ease my overdraft...so that's a definite no...no, no, NO. Gah. So, if anyone has an old one lying around (preferably one that works) and wouldn't mind lending it to me for a lil bit...I'd be uber appreciative.

Pah...I wouldn't lend to me either.

What else is in Berry news...Oh, revision update. Yet to start, but I have organised and printed off notes. They are in folders and everything. I found a highlighter so that's next to the folders. And that's about it. Go me!

Naughty Berry.

I think I need to be tied to a chair and table in the library with my revision notes glued to my hands, and my eyes permanently opened with cocktail sticks. I still wouldn't do anything though. Prob set the notes alight. I'm good at doing stuff like that.

Not a very exciting blog today I'm afraid...I'm just time wasting you see. Procrastination should be my middle name, Gemma Procrastination Berry has a ring to it I think. Though it would be rather problematic on some application forms me thinks.

Ok, I've talked enough crap now. Over and out sex kittens xoxo

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

These are a few of my favourite things...

Blog number 7, which happens to be my favourite number.

I'm not big into numbers like Louise is with her amorous obsession with #6 and pure hatred of #9. Understandable when you hear the reasoning but still, pretty crazy.

I'm not a superstitious girl. I will open an umbrella indoors whilst walking under a ladder, cross paths with a black cat (or two) and leave my brand new shoes on the table. I will also walk merrily over those three-in-a-row electricity cover things on the pavement, and will not throw salt anywhere. Unless its on a festering, open wound located on Yusefs greasy forehead.

And it's all because I lead a particularly intense pessimistic lifestyle. If something bad happens...it's because I'm shit, not because I forgot to touch wood. I guess that's pretty logical, I won't use superstitions as an excuse...but I will use other reasoning:

I forgot.
I'm tired.
I forgot.
I'm sick.
I forgot.
I'm poor.
I forgot.

Yeah, I forget a lot.

Anyway, I'm really off topic. Favourite things was to be this evenings discussion.

My favourite things...Well, imma list them with reasons. In no particular order.

- Communication. Whether it's face to face or facebook, keeping in contact with people is vital. Especially since I'm a lazy fuck.

- Freedom of speech. If I couldn't say what I wanted...I would explode. I semi erupt every evening at home as it is. Thankfully I have a blog or two to write on.

- Love. Whether it's friend love or love love, It's all good. Keeps me warm. Need me some love love though. No, that's not a code phrase for sex. Though some of that wouldn't go amiss either.

- Music. Because there's a genre for any, and every, mood. When I'm sad I listen to the Cure because I'm a goth kid in a...somethings...body. Avril Lavigne when I'm super happy and The Libertines when I'm feeling moody. A bit of Trivium goes a long way when I'm angry.

- Material possessions. Yeah, I'm shallow. I like having a lot of stuff. Especially my DVD collection. Also, laptop (even though it's a pile of shit), I-pod (dying if not dead already), phone (needs charging every 12 hours or so...), TV (kinda old but still working!) and my DS. DS is holding up pretty well actually. Oh, my sega megadrive, NES and SNES are vital to my living, along with anything geeky in my room. I collect boxes. Those are also included.

- Making things. I like to be creative, even though most of what I make could be made better by a two month old. But I kinda only make stuff for those who will appreciate it. So, if Louise doesn't like this years birthday pressies...will be the end of home made goods for the cheese. Ha! Like that's gunna happen...Louise, if you die before me...I will make my own funeral outfit out of cat hair, since I shall be a mad cat lady. And I'll probably get chucked out of said funeral by your soul. If you have one lying around that is.

- Reading. I love to read, but I'm so bad at reading often. Don't know what happened there...was always glued to a book in my youth. Actually, I blame alcohol.

- Alcohol. Answer to all of lifes problems, boredom and probably why my overdraft is maxed out. Couldn't live without it.

- Money. Because being poor isn't an option.

- Science. I like new discoveries, solving problems, attempting to solve problems, experimenting and most of all, doing it well. When I get good grades, I'm the happiest geek ever to have walked the earth. One day I shall write about science and hope that no one ever reads it, because not unlike this blog, it will be full of shit.

- Bed. I do love to sleep. I sleep lots until I can sleep no more. Which is around 4pm. I find it quite acceptable to sleep up to and beyond 13 hours at least twice a week.

- Being young. I want to be 18 again, but 21 when I visit America.

- Late night phone calls. I say this quite often, but when you're asleep and your best friend calls you...that shows love. Drunken love, but its all the same to me. I don't care what the time is. The fact that I only dropped off to sleep 10 mins ago after trying to sleep for three hours proves that I wasn't destined to sleep at that particular moment.

- Louise and Marc. Hopefully they feel the same.

There's more. Much much more. I could go on for years. I'm rather self indulgent.

Oh, before you go...I'm thinking of starting up my own pigeon hair salon. Stay tuned folks.

xoxo

Monday, 20 April 2009

Bitching etiquette.

I was on the #14 bus yesterday from Fulham to Putney when I thought...I haven't updated my blog in a while. So..here I am kids.

Not quite sure what I'm going to write about. I don't lead an exciting life...I'm way too lazy for such things. I do however enjoy the art of bitching and gossipage. If there was an exam...I'd probably fail it, retake it and scrape a pass...but display a perfect bitching technique in practice. Ahem.

So, why (at the age of evil) are so many people rather childish about bitching? It's been occurring since the dawn of time, girls and gays gathering in groups to talk about the one we all love to hate. Or something along those lines, hate can be a harsh word children. Get used to it, suck it up and bitch some more.

My favourite person to bitch about is someone by the name of Yusef.
This is lesson 1. Always use code names. Means you can bitch about the person right under their nose. Makes the whole process much more enjoyable.

Oh but do try to think of a more normal name...

Yusef smells, and has awfully greasy hair.
Childish, but honest. Offer presents of shampoo and mouthwash. Huge vats of them if your bank account allows it.

Yusef in red, and bad clothes.
You must always be on the lookout for the said person, and ready to go into hiding. Preferably whilst humming the theme tune to Mission Impossible.

The best bitching is when the bitchees don't find out about it. And if they do find out...don't take it badly. It's your own fault for letting it get out.

Yusef bitching has been taking place for a very long time now. Yusef is yet to find out, and if he/she did...I'd enjoy it because then I could bitch more about the stupid greasy smelly eejit. Fun times!

Need me a burn book fo sho'.

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

London

Since term has now finished for me (well, there's a lecture on Thursday but...I don't care), I shall be returning back to London tomorrow evening. The thought of returning home always puts an inane grin on my face, which pleases me to no end.

Every time I leave the capital I question myself. I know that may seem a little rude on my Canterbury life, but I can't say I enjoy being in Canters very much. I only like it when I'm with friends, usually drinking. Perhaps if there wasn't a hill in the way, I'd be up on campus more often. I'm so very lazy and yes, a hill deters me.

Not looking forward to that whole parenting thing. Thankfully, that's a few years in the making.

Anyway, being here always makes me wonder what it would be like if I was studying in London...

Which university would I be attending? Well, due to A-level grades...probably nowhere. My second choice was QM, but I doubt they would have taken me..though it seemed my As grades didn't bother them...I suppose having overzealous teachers with their marvelous predicted grades helped quite a bit.

I'd definitely be poorer right now. That's a given. I'd probably be more of an alcoholic too. I wouldn't miss home and the people who live there...but I don't think I'd have as much time on my hands to make stuff.

Though even when I'm busy I always find time to do shit like that, it's what I do best. Procrastination queen.

I've made a few more trips to London this term than I have before. Since I have had a lot of spare time, I don't see why not. It's a shame I can't afford to do it more often, but I have discovered that the coach is at least half the cost of a train fare and the journey doesn't take any longer. A huge bonus! Why I didn't bother before I don't know..

In 10 weeks time I shall be truly free. Well, at least until September. A whole Summer to do whatever I please. Oh it shall be awesome. Another Summer of doing lots but achieving nothing. Sounds perfect.

I must remember to take lots more photos this year, even if it is of a bus or a passing freak. My memory needs to be full of science, not random events of a trip to Victoria...well, I lie. I'd rather remember stuff like that than the metabolism of a cell. Not until after my exams though ta. Must pass them!

I'm trying to conclude this but I really don't know how to...kinda gone off topic a little bit...

Ok, LONDON RULES. And if you don't agree with that, you're just jealous and I'm too awesome for words to care.

That will have to do.

Gnight kids xoxo