Twittering madness I tell you - Fbook off.

Hello.

I've been twittering away for a while now, and tend to update it quite often...more so than facebook. I'm still happy with facebook, but it has definitely lost its charm. I kinda miss the simplicity of it. I really really do not want to see stupid apps and ridiculous fan pages because as much as I am a fan of sleeping, hot showers and the rest of it...so is everyone else. There is no need to celebrate basic human needs, wants and loves, so shut up. Come on, "Become a fan of laughing"...NO.

That's a fail of epic proportions.

And if you are one of the four friends who became a fan of afore mentioned, then you should be ashamed. Perhaps start a new fan page "Hating Gemma Berry". I'd join that one. Hell, imma set it up! See how many fans I get who love to hate me...

...not many who'd care enough me thinks. Perhaps it would be more shattering to my ego if I set up a "Gemma Berry" fan page and not have any fans add me to their profile..

Losers.

Twitter on the other hand has no such nonsense. You update your status, follow some peeps, some peeps follow you. That's about it. Easy peasy, none of this "Dickfor Brains sent you shit on a stick, send some back!" rubbish. And so long as you're not tweeting your every move, it's fun.

But don't start joining. If too many people join they will probably think they need to change something which is fine as it is. Tweets will be called twats and twats will be called cocks. Topsy turvy this world will become and I will (to no avail) go and stand in a park pretending to be a great Oak.

Or a weeping Willow. Or a tit in the grass.

And so I have come to an end. This blog entry will now cease to be.

An exblog, if you will.

Peace out humankillings xoxo

Procrastination for the nation

So, it's St Georges Day today.

I'm still surprised that it's not celebrated in the same way St Patricks or even Australia Day is...

Yes, Australia Day.

I'm not patriotic in the slightest, but I do find it unfair that it's not a public holiday...A day off is always good, and we deserve at least one more. Though perhaps should move it to another month, April/May seem to be rather greedy with bank hols.

Anyway, I'm bored of thinking about that. It's the same conversation every year in my house on this very day. Becomes tiresome.

Oh, my ipod has broken. Well, so it seems anyway. Bad bad times. Cannae afford a new one :-( Well, I could buy a new one with my student loan but that's supposed to be helping to ease my overdraft...so that's a definite no...no, no, NO. Gah. So, if anyone has an old one lying around (preferably one that works) and wouldn't mind lending it to me for a lil bit...I'd be uber appreciative.

Pah...I wouldn't lend to me either.

What else is in Berry news...Oh, revision update. Yet to start, but I have organised and printed off notes. They are in folders and everything. I found a highlighter so that's next to the folders. And that's about it. Go me!

Naughty Berry.

I think I need to be tied to a chair and table in the library with my revision notes glued to my hands, and my eyes permanently opened with cocktail sticks. I still wouldn't do anything though. Prob set the notes alight. I'm good at doing stuff like that.

Not a very exciting blog today I'm afraid...I'm just time wasting you see. Procrastination should be my middle name, Gemma Procrastination Berry has a ring to it I think. Though it would be rather problematic on some application forms me thinks.

Ok, I've talked enough crap now. Over and out sex kittens xoxo

These are a few of my favourite things...

Blog number 7, which happens to be my favourite number.

I'm not big into numbers like Louise is with her amorous obsession with #6 and pure hatred of #9. Understandable when you hear the reasoning but still, pretty crazy.

I'm not a superstitious girl. I will open an umbrella indoors whilst walking under a ladder, cross paths with a black cat (or two) and leave my brand new shoes on the table. I will also walk merrily over those three-in-a-row electricity cover things on the pavement, and will not throw salt anywhere. Unless its on a festering, open wound located on Yusefs greasy forehead.

And it's all because I lead a particularly intense pessimistic lifestyle. If something bad happens...it's because I'm shit, not because I forgot to touch wood. I guess that's pretty logical, I won't use superstitions as an excuse...but I will use other reasoning:

I forgot.
I'm tired.
I forgot.
I'm sick.
I forgot.
I'm poor.
I forgot.

Yeah, I forget a lot.

Anyway, I'm really off topic. Favourite things was to be this evenings discussion.

My favourite things...Well, imma list them with reasons. In no particular order.

- Communication. Whether it's face to face or facebook, keeping in contact with people is vital. Especially since I'm a lazy fuck.

- Freedom of speech. If I couldn't say what I wanted...I would explode. I semi erupt every evening at home as it is. Thankfully I have a blog or two to write on.

- Love. Whether it's friend love or love love, It's all good. Keeps me warm. Need me some love love though. No, that's not a code phrase for sex. Though some of that wouldn't go amiss either.

- Music. Because there's a genre for any, and every, mood. When I'm sad I listen to the Cure because I'm a goth kid in a...somethings...body. Avril Lavigne when I'm super happy and The Libertines when I'm feeling moody. A bit of Trivium goes a long way when I'm angry.

- Material possessions. Yeah, I'm shallow. I like having a lot of stuff. Especially my DVD collection. Also, laptop (even though it's a pile of shit), I-pod (dying if not dead already), phone (needs charging every 12 hours or so...), TV (kinda old but still working!) and my DS. DS is holding up pretty well actually. Oh, my sega megadrive, NES and SNES are vital to my living, along with anything geeky in my room. I collect boxes. Those are also included.

- Making things. I like to be creative, even though most of what I make could be made better by a two month old. But I kinda only make stuff for those who will appreciate it. So, if Louise doesn't like this years birthday pressies...will be the end of home made goods for the cheese. Ha! Like that's gunna happen...Louise, if you die before me...I will make my own funeral outfit out of cat hair, since I shall be a mad cat lady. And I'll probably get chucked out of said funeral by your soul. If you have one lying around that is.

- Reading. I love to read, but I'm so bad at reading often. Don't know what happened there...was always glued to a book in my youth. Actually, I blame alcohol.

- Alcohol. Answer to all of lifes problems, boredom and probably why my overdraft is maxed out. Couldn't live without it.

- Money. Because being poor isn't an option.

- Science. I like new discoveries, solving problems, attempting to solve problems, experimenting and most of all, doing it well. When I get good grades, I'm the happiest geek ever to have walked the earth. One day I shall write about science and hope that no one ever reads it, because not unlike this blog, it will be full of shit.

- Bed. I do love to sleep. I sleep lots until I can sleep no more. Which is around 4pm. I find it quite acceptable to sleep up to and beyond 13 hours at least twice a week.

- Being young. I want to be 18 again, but 21 when I visit America.

- Late night phone calls. I say this quite often, but when you're asleep and your best friend calls you...that shows love. Drunken love, but its all the same to me. I don't care what the time is. The fact that I only dropped off to sleep 10 mins ago after trying to sleep for three hours proves that I wasn't destined to sleep at that particular moment.

- Louise and Marc. Hopefully they feel the same.

There's more. Much much more. I could go on for years. I'm rather self indulgent.

Oh, before you go...I'm thinking of starting up my own pigeon hair salon. Stay tuned folks.

xoxo

Bitching etiquette.

I was on the #14 bus yesterday from Fulham to Putney when I thought...I haven't updated my blog in a while. So..here I am kids.

Not quite sure what I'm going to write about. I don't lead an exciting life...I'm way too lazy for such things. I do however enjoy the art of bitching and gossipage. If there was an exam...I'd probably fail it, retake it and scrape a pass...but display a perfect bitching technique in practice. Ahem.

So, why (at the age of evil) are so many people rather childish about bitching? It's been occurring since the dawn of time, girls and gays gathering in groups to talk about the one we all love to hate. Or something along those lines, hate can be a harsh word children. Get used to it, suck it up and bitch some more.

My favourite person to bitch about is someone by the name of Yusef.
This is lesson 1. Always use code names. Means you can bitch about the person right under their nose. Makes the whole process much more enjoyable.

Oh but do try to think of a more normal name...

Yusef smells, and has awfully greasy hair.
Childish, but honest. Offer presents of shampoo and mouthwash. Huge vats of them if your bank account allows it.

Yusef in red, and bad clothes.
You must always be on the lookout for the said person, and ready to go into hiding. Preferably whilst humming the theme tune to Mission Impossible.

The best bitching is when the bitchees don't find out about it. And if they do find out...don't take it badly. It's your own fault for letting it get out.

Yusef bitching has been taking place for a very long time now. Yusef is yet to find out, and if he/she did...I'd enjoy it because then I could bitch more about the stupid greasy smelly eejit. Fun times!

Need me a burn book fo sho'.

London

Since term has now finished for me (well, there's a lecture on Thursday but...I don't care), I shall be returning back to London tomorrow evening. The thought of returning home always puts an inane grin on my face, which pleases me to no end.

Every time I leave the capital I question myself. I know that may seem a little rude on my Canterbury life, but I can't say I enjoy being in Canters very much. I only like it when I'm with friends, usually drinking. Perhaps if there wasn't a hill in the way, I'd be up on campus more often. I'm so very lazy and yes, a hill deters me.

Not looking forward to that whole parenting thing. Thankfully, that's a few years in the making.

Anyway, being here always makes me wonder what it would be like if I was studying in London...

Which university would I be attending? Well, due to A-level grades...probably nowhere. My second choice was QM, but I doubt they would have taken me..though it seemed my As grades didn't bother them...I suppose having overzealous teachers with their marvelous predicted grades helped quite a bit.

I'd definitely be poorer right now. That's a given. I'd probably be more of an alcoholic too. I wouldn't miss home and the people who live there...but I don't think I'd have as much time on my hands to make stuff.

Though even when I'm busy I always find time to do shit like that, it's what I do best. Procrastination queen.

I've made a few more trips to London this term than I have before. Since I have had a lot of spare time, I don't see why not. It's a shame I can't afford to do it more often, but I have discovered that the coach is at least half the cost of a train fare and the journey doesn't take any longer. A huge bonus! Why I didn't bother before I don't know..

In 10 weeks time I shall be truly free. Well, at least until September. A whole Summer to do whatever I please. Oh it shall be awesome. Another Summer of doing lots but achieving nothing. Sounds perfect.

I must remember to take lots more photos this year, even if it is of a bus or a passing freak. My memory needs to be full of science, not random events of a trip to Victoria...well, I lie. I'd rather remember stuff like that than the metabolism of a cell. Not until after my exams though ta. Must pass them!

I'm trying to conclude this but I really don't know how to...kinda gone off topic a little bit...

Ok, LONDON RULES. And if you don't agree with that, you're just jealous and I'm too awesome for words to care.

That will have to do.

Gnight kids xoxo

Dish dash DOSH.

Todays edition is brought to you by poverty, the worlds leading brand of death.

Ok, that might have been a little stupid but I'm bored, hungry and poor. Two of those three attributes contribute to poverty...so it's allowed.

I need some cash, I'm quite needy. Aside from selling my body (which I'm ever tempted to do, will be killing two birds with one stone..) there's nothing I can do here to make me some moolah.

Yeah, I intend to use a variety of slang words to describe money so leave now or forever hold your peace.

The jobs that are around are for places that I will not work in...Clothes shops.
Places I am happy to work in already have plenty of staff. So there's not a job for me in Canterbury. I kinda expected that really, it's a small town with a huge population of students, and people who actually live here all the time. I could just stop being fussy, but why chose to work somewhere that you are going to hate? That's just selfish. If anyone reading this works in an HMV and hates it, I would come and kick your arse if I wasn't such a chicken.

Cluckity cluck.

I'm pretty lucky that at home I have a job, though whether or not I'll have any work is another story...I've been hanging on there for a while now, and I do enjoy it. It can get pretty stressful in a library I must say, but working in the public sector is quite nice when you have regular customers. Since I've been there for about 4 years, I'm realising that it might be time for me to move on. I don't want to, but I don't see much work being offered to me anymore, so why stay to be offered something stupid like one day a week? I'll be sad to leave though. I kinda want to stay until I've finished uni..it's the only place I can think of that likes casual staff to come and go as they please...

Luckily for me, I'll now have an advantage over first jobbers. Plenty of experience even though its all about books. It's stupid how someone who has never had a job before is unable to get a job at somewhere that shouldn't require too many taxing skills and won't take long to train for. How is one expected to get a job at all?! Ok, so you can start in a supermarket...but have you ever seen a happy worker in Sainsburys? A smiling bundle of joy in Tesco? Alex sometimes smiles when we see him in Asda but I think thats because he's always hungry and steals our food.*

Perhaps because it wasn't too hard for me to find a job (I was 16 at the time)...I'm not overly sympathetic. I understand its not easy, but I guess if you are desperate...you shouldn't care where you work. Unless you're a snob of course. Personally, if I had the choice of unemployment or working in primark, I'd go with the scrounging off of my parents for food.

I'm thinking a few of you will agree with me on that.

The real reason of this blog is to tell you that I made 37p yesterday by writing a blog entry. I can't tell you the details on here because it's not allowed...but whoot me. 37 pennies to spend on 37 penny sweets. Awesome

Chillax, xoxo

*He stole my bread!

April Fools Day

Happy April Fools day peeps.

I didn't fall for anything this year, I didn't get out of bed until after 12 so that kinda helps. Thankful for that really, not a fan of April 1st. Mainly because as much as I want to think of an elaborate scheme to fool thousands of people...I can't. Not a very good liar.

Though I like it if I'm watching morning television. It's the one day in the year that it amuses me...though is Fiona Phillips still on GMTV? I must say she made me laugh in that cringey kinda way...

I recall BBC videos of spaghetti trees from the 1950's. Pretty impressive I think. Pasta growing on trees..when viewers asked how to grow their own they were told to "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best". Hehehe

Obviously, no one likes to be fooled...so why have a whole day dedicated to it? After doing a little research (dubiously), it seems that it started in France. New years day was once on April 1st (Julian Calendar) but some pope decided that the Gregorian calendar was the way forward. It being some time in the 1500's...twas hard to communicate to the whole of France, so by the time the message got around, people just didn't believe it. In foolish belief, they carried on celebrating NYE on AFD. Clever people decided to laugh at these idiots and trick them to do other stuff on April 1st.

Apparently.

A useless "holiday" but at least you don't feel compelled to take part. Or buy anyone a present. It's all good really. Though it does so happen to be my nan's birthday today. Says a lot really :P

And remember kids, revenge is sweet. Or sour. Or salty. Anything you like it to be really.

Peace out human beans xoxo